Thistle's Song Parodies: 1
by Lady Meowzalot
Summary: Redwall versions of well-known(ish) songs...Redwall itself (c) BJ, and everything else(c) its respective owners;)
1. How do You Solve a Problem like

How do you Solve a Problem like that Thistle?

(How do you solve a problem like Maria, Sound of Music)

Abbey Sister#1: 

She eats a berry, stains her dress,

Her fur is sopping wet!

She yells so loud, it hurts my ears,

No worse we've ever met!

And if we ever punish her, we'll someday surely regret!

Sister#2:

She's one of the worst Dibbuns at our Redwall!

Abbey Sister#1:

She's overly agressive,

Sister#3: 

But only when she's mad!

#1:

She annoys the heck out of everyone,

#3:

Only 'cause she's glad!

#1:

I adress you all, my fair comrades,

All:

Thistle should be put to be-ed!

#3:

I'd like to tell you something about the maid,

Abbess:

Then say it, Sister Louiselle!

#3:

She's really quite good with a blade!

#2:

How do you solve a problem like that Thistle?

How do you eat a meal and not be full?

How do you describe a beast such as Thistle?

#1:

A nutcase!

#3:

A sweetheart!

#2:

A mouthful!

#3:

There's many a thing for which you'd like to scold her,

Many a thing to belabour her about!

But how do you say something like it?

Without her throwing a fit?

How do you tell her she's not a Queen?

All:

Oh, how do you solve a problem like that Thistle?

And all without...

Beeiing..toooo...meeeeean?

Other random Sisters:

When I'm with her my head aches,

The stuff around us breaks,

And we can never stop the mousemaid...

She's as noisy as a french horn,

Always drowning out our scorn,

#1:

She's a weirdo!

#3:

She's a Queen!

#1

She's insaaaane!

Random:

She'd out scoff a champ'yon scoffer,

And refuse the best of offers!

She firmly believes in those Strawb'ry trees!

#3:

She is sweet, she is silly,

She runs all over willy-nilly...

#1:

She's a bother!

#3:

She's intelligent!

Abbess:

Ladies! Please!

All:

How do you solve a problem like that Thistle?

How do you eat a meal and not be full?

How do you describe a beast such as Thistle?

#1:

A nutcase!

#3:

A sweetheart!

#2:

A mouthful!

#3:

There's many a thing for which you'd like to scold her,

Many a thing to belabour her about!

But how do you say something like it?

Without her throwing a fit?

How do you tell her she's not a Queen?

All:

Oh, how do you solve a problem like that Thistle?

And all without...

Beeiing..toooo...meeeeean?

-Fine-


	2. Les Mis fun!

Likkle Dibbuns

(Little People, from Les Mis)

An' likkle Dibbuns know, 

No makker wot dey say,

We may look all seriyus,

Bu' we loves ta pway!

So neva baff a dibbun,

You moight gerra s'pise,

Uth Dibbuns fight wike Mawtin,

When we gets soap inna eyes!

So ya bekka leave us 'lone,

Whenna Dibbuns 'r onna rise!

~~

~~

Do you Hear D' Dibbuns Sing?

(Finale-Les Mis)

Do ya hear d' Dibbuns sing?

Singin' d' song ob angwy babes,

It da rantings of d' chilwen 

'Oo will NOT be bathed again!

For alla bath'ed of d' earff,

Dere's some mud dat neva dwies,

Even d' longes' bedtime wiw end,

Anna sun wiw rise!

We wiw dirty 'gain in fweedom,

Inna sunny orchard.

We wiw play 'wound wiv sta'bwies,

Cleanwiness we will discard.

D' soapy wiw be soilded,

An' d' Sistas wiw be barred!

Wiw ya join in ouw fun?

'Oo'll be stwong an' ne'r be bathed,

One f' all an' all f' one,

Togevver we'll go unscathed!

Do ya see d' dirt a'callin'?

Say, do ya see d' messy paint?

It da time of Sistas fallin,

When we'w wivout restraint!

Wiw ya join in ouw fun?

'Oo'll be stwong an' ne'r be bathed,

One f' all an' all f' one,

Togevver we'll go unscathed!

Do ya see d' dirt a'callin'?

Say, do ya see d' messy paint?

It da time of Sistas fallin,

When we'w wivout restraint!

Wivout restraint!

~~


	3. StrawberriesEdelwiess

Strawberries

(Edelwiess, Sound of Music)

Strawberries, Strawberries,

Every day I eat you,

Red and fat,

You go splat,

Saying, "I'm happy to feed you!"

Berries of red may you plumpen and grow,

Plumpen and grow always,

Strawberries, Strawberries,

May I eat you always!

Dibbun 1Dibbun 2

StrawberriesStrawberries

StrawberriesStrawberries

Every day I eat you

Red and fat,Red and fat,

You go splat,You go splat,

Saying, "I'm happy to feed you!

Berries of red may you plumpen and grow,

Plumpen and grow always,

Strawberries, Strawberries,

May I eat youways.


	4. DABfor the Online club

Dibbuns Agenns' Bedtime

(YMCA)

Dibbuns, there's no need to sleep,

I said, Dibbuns, get y'self onnyer feet,

I said, Dibbuns, just 'cuz yer young,

There's no need to go to bed!

Dibbuns, there's a place you c'n be, 

I said, Dibbuns, just follow me,

An if ya do, you won't be on the run,

Cuz-there's ways to have fun!

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime,

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

There's everything for us to enjoy!

You can play with lotsa toys!

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime,

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

You will never be cleaned, eat junk for meals,

You'll never hear a Dibbun squeal!

Dibbuns, are you lissnen' a me?

I said, Dibbuns, from bathtime you're free,

I said, Dibbuns, you'll always say, "Whee!"

When you find out what we do!

When I, was going to sleep,

I gasped, "This isn' fer me!"

We planned to abolish bedtime forever,

And then we made plans!

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime,

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

There's everything for us to enjoy!

You can play with lotsa toys!

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime,

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

You will never be cleaned, eat junk for meals,

You'll never hear a Dibbun squeal!

Dibbuns, I was once in ya place,

I had, a great big sad face,

I thought the Elders were never nice,

And that just would not suffice!

That's when, some of us Dibbuns,

We said, "No more, we'll be lyin' an' fibbin'"

So we hatched up a plan, put it into action,

Now we never will learn fractions!

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime,

It's great to be in the Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

There's everything for us to enjoy!

You can play with lotsa toys!

You'll find it at Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

Dibbuns, there's no need to sleep,

I said, Dibbuns, get y'self onnyer feet!

We'll have it at Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

Dibbuns, there's no need to sleep,

I said, Dibbuns, get y'self onnyer feet!

It'll be at Dibbuns Aggens' Bedtime!

Dibbuns, are you lissnen' a me?

I said, Dibbuns, from bathtime you're free,


	5. More Les Mis fun!

((Mwahaha...yes, it is I, the weird song parody writing fourteen year old! Fear me! Er, yeah. Anyway, this is the "Work Song" from Les Miserables, changed to have a more Dibbuny air. Haha...Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: I own nuttin' 'cepting Thistle. ))

Dibbuns' Bath Song

Bathing Dibbuns:

Soap up, soap up,

Get bubbles onya fur,

Soap up, soap up,

Ain't muddy like we were!

Dibbun One:

The soap, it smells,

Like flowers in a vase!

Bathing Dibbuns:

Soap up, soap up,

Bathtime is a waste

Dibbun Two:

I hate this life!

Mommy, take me way!

Bathing Dibbuns:

Soap up, soap up,

Your Mommy won't be swayed

Dibbun Three:

I know they'll cry,

I know they'll wait for me!

Bathing Dibbuns:

Soap up, Soap up,

They're on an orchard spree

Dibbun Four:

When I get done I'll have some fun,

In the pond!

Bathing Dibbuns: 

Soap up, soap up,

We're allus being bathed,

Soap up, soap up,

We won't go unscathed

Badgermum:

Now bring me little mousemaid one,

Your bath is up

And your playtime's begun,

You know what that means.

Thistle:

Yes it means I'se free!

Badgermum:

No!

It means you get a clean smock,

You are some trouble!

Thistle:

I stole a strawberry!

Badgermum:

You were a mess!

Thistle:

I was havin' fun!

We awoked from our nap,

My tummy was rumbling.

Badgermum:

Let it rumble again

Unless you learn to stay quite clean

Thistle:

I knows d' meanin' o' dis bafftime ere,

A clean mouseymaid!

Badgermum:

Scrubbing up for what you did,

The rest because you tried to run,

Yes, little mousemaid one!

Thistle:

My name is Fissle Longfaith!

Badgermum:

And I'm Badgermum!

Do not forget my face,

Do not forget me,

Little mousemaid one!

Bathing Dibbuns:

Soap up, soap up, 

We're allus being bathed,

Soap up, soap up,

We won't go unscathed!


End file.
